Wellness Wednesday with Aram Demirjian
/Q: How would you describe your lifestyle (student/traveling performer/9-5 job/etc.)?
A: Is 'music director' an appropriate answer? Whatever is the opposite of a typical 9-5, I'd say that's what I do. Things never get too routine, and usually my schedule is determined by whatever the program(s) of the week is/are. I also am on airplanes at least 3 times a month.
Q: What keeps you motivated?
A: The music, my sense of responsibility toward the people I work with, and my own sense of pride in what I do.
Q: What gets you out of bed in the morning?
A: The task at hand.
Q: What inspires you to do what you do?
A: Two things: the possibility of inspiring others through music and that incredible feeling when everybody in a performance is on the same wavelength.
Q: Describe a daily routine that makes you feel great.
A: I am a little bit routine-less. I'd say having the first cup of coffee and doing the NY Times crossword helps me get in the zone.
Q: What is one habit would you like to change?
A: I stay up way too late -- I've always been a night owl, but I'd like to become more of a morning person.
Q: What is your practicing routine, if you have one?
A: I would say my score study approach varies depending on the piece and the amount of time I have to prepare it. In an ideal world, I study every day in the same place (at my desk), in a quiet room with a supply of colored pencils, rulers and a piano within reach. I start out trying to make a mental map of the piece for myself -- I look for structure first, then do motivic and harmonic analysis, moving down to the smaller details, identifying difficult transitions as I go, and determining how I can be most helpful to the orchestra. Once I start to make interpretive decisions about the piece, I'll usually start listening to a bunch of recordings (if available) to see if I agree or disagree with what other conductors have decided to do, and maybe even pick up a few new ideas. Throughout, I am also texting conductor friends of mine who have done the pieces before and asking questions. Eventually, I'll start to sing my way through the piece -- graduating from that mental map to a state where the music is flowing more organically, and then I'll bring my hands into the mix. That's in an ideal world! Sometimes, I have to do a condensed version of this, in which case, I am just constantly asking myself, "What is the tempo?," "What are the fundamental pieces of information I need to communicate to the orchestra so they can play together well?," and "How can I communicate all of this in the rehearsal time I have available?"
Q: Describe a habit or a ritual you do every day and you "swear by".
A: Floss first, brush second? :-P I really don't have something I do every day beyond that.
Q: Do you exercise regularly? If yes, what do you do and how often?
A: I like to joke that conducting orchestras is my exercise! But seriously...no. I don't have an exercise regimen. It's never been a problem but...it's a problem. :-/
Q: What do you eat before concerts/performances?
A: I tend to eat very lightly before a concert - just enough so that I don't feel hungry. Maybe a banana or a granola bar. If I have a full meal I just feel weighed down, plus I like a post-concert meal to recharge.
Q: How to you manage your anxiety or daily stress?
I talk to people I trust about what is making me feel stressed or anxious -- talking things out and getting outside perspectives is really helpful to me. Lately, I have also started meditating, which I am enjoying. I find that the mental exercise of simply giving myself permission to relax can be helpful, too.
Q: Do you have a routine before an audition?
A: I like to stay by myself in a hotel the day/night before. Assuming I feel generally prepared, I'll study during the afternoon and make notes about any areas in the music about which I still feel uncertain. Then I'll give myself the evening off -- get a nice dinner, perhaps watch a movie or a game -- do something solitary but relaxing. Then I'll mentally "play" through each piece one more time and go to sleep. Then I'll wake up early the next morning, take the morning at a leisurely pace, and mentally play through the pieces a few more times before walking to the venue. I'll usually call my father or my wife on the way and chat for a few minutes.
Q: What was the most important mantra/lesson/idea you learned in the last couple of years?
A: From Barack Obama: “Better is good. I’ll take better every time, because better is hard. Better may not be as good as the best, but better is surprisingly hard to obtain. And better is actually harder than worse."
Q :Before going to bed, what do you do to wind down?
A: I'll read or listen to a podcast until my mind starts feeling fuzzy.
Q: How do you deal with rejection? Can you share an example?
A: I used to take rejection very personally. Now...I still take it personally! But less so. When you lose, there are two questions you ask yourself simultaneously: what's wrong with me? And what's wrong with THEM? I think allowing yourself to experience and process those reactions actually can be healthy. At the very least it can be cathartic. It shows you care and it shows you have pride, as long as you don't live in that negative place for too long. For me, being in the position now to make decisions about who gets hired for things and who doesn't has helped give me perspective on rejection. Most decisions in music are about circumstance and fit as much as they are about shades of ability -- which is equal parts comforting and infuriating. When faced with rejection, I'll usually give myself a day to feel wounded and talk about my feelings with people I'm close to. Then I'll throw myself back into my work, as a reminder that there is always something more to be done in spite of not winning that "next" opportunity. And once I'm past the initial blow of the rejection, I'll ask myself in a constructive way what went well and what I might do differently next time, seek feedback, and see if I can translate the negativity of the experience into something positive. One thing is for sure: I never want to get used to rejection, but I am always striving to get better at managing it.
Q: How do you find a balance between your music life and career and your personal life? (How do you keep and maintain balanced life?)
A: Well, first of all, I would not say my life necessarily is 'in balance' -- I spend much more time on my music life and career than I do my personal life. But that's a choice I've made, and one that my loved ones understand and accept, fortunately. I do not think I would enjoy my personal life nearly as much if I did not feel like I was holding myself accountable professionally. Since there are so many days when I feel like there is no time for anything but work, I try to be deliberate about scheduling time for the non-music things when I have the opportunity. I could not get by without spending time with my wife, my friends and other family. I also have been a lifelong sports fan, and the rare chance to sit on my couch and watch a good game from beginning to end while eating junk food is one of my favorite rewards.
Q: What do you do to keep your self focused on your work even when you are busy?
A: I am a compulsive list-maker.
Q: What helps you focus?
A: The last minute.
Q: How do your splurge yourself?
A: Good food, good drinks, the occasional nice hotel stay-cation.
Check out more about Aram's schedule and performances here: http://aramdemirjian.com/