Sleep training–not only for babies!

I knew sleep training will help Rhoni to sleep better, but I didn't expect it to make me appreciate and reflect on my own bedtime routine. After I learned new tools to execute her sleep training successfully, I wanted to use them in my own bedtime routine, with the hope that I can finally get more sleep in.

I thought adults are just big babies. It must work on us too!

The biggest thing I've realized is that our body likes consistency. Our body likes to maintain patterns and behaviors: that is why we usually eat around the same time every day, have a steady range of body weight, and go to sleep around the same time.

But is that the IDEAL time for us to go to sleep? Do we actually get enough sleep and wake up well rested?

Differently from babies, we adults manipulate our behavior all the time. We are pros at ignoring our intuition and natural tendency, letting stimulations and popular activity take over. Of course we will prefer to stay up late and watch another episode, scroll more on social media, or get lost in TikTok. But is it really worth our time and sacrifice of sleep?

If we want to go to sleep earlier, we have to find a way to signal our brain that it's time to go to sleep, and fight all these habits that we like to do to push bedtime later. It's not a complicated process, it's actually fairly simple.

The difference is consistency: not to cave into our manipulation and follow through with the plan.

So what is *the plan*?

1. Set up a REALISTIC bedtime goal.

This should be no more than an hour earlier when you go to sleep now.

Why not earlier than that? We need realistic goals that we can actually achieve! If you want to do it even earlier than one hour, first accomplish the hour and continue with 15 min increments until you get to the desired bedtime.

2. Set a timer for 45 min before your bedtime goal.

Why not more than that? An hour is too long and we lose track of time and get carried away scrolling. That timer means you go brush your teeth and start your bedtime routine.

3. Decide on TWO bedtime routines *after* brushing your teeth.

• Why not one? You need your brain to realize it’s time to sleep, and one action isn’t strong enough. These could be things like stretching or reading a book. Even going on your phone is fine, but you just have to keep an eye on the time. You can put an additional timer for that activity, for extra help.

• Why brushing our teeth isn't one of the activities? This is the one activity that separates our evening from the bedtime routine. This is the transition moment!

4. Accountability.

Few options here: Write down the time you actually went to bed, take a pic with a time stamp, post a story on instagram, or even send a goodnight text to a friend. Any action that will prove to yourself that you did in fact go to sleep, will work. You can even use hashtag #bedtimeretune to join the community we have on instagram.

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The key to success here is consistency. So if you didn't get to go to sleep at your bedtime goal it's ok, try again the next day! Remind yourself the goal (to sleep more!) and how empowering it will feel when you actually get more sleep, feel in control of your bedtime routine, and not just cave into wasting more time on endless apps.

How to avoid food waste OR How cheese can make everything better

We’ve all been there – stuck with too many things to cook but not enough time. I know no one wants to throw away food, but it’s also takes some time and energy to think how to use it all in a delicious way. Here are a few ideas about how to save your produce and leftovers:

STUFF: Too many bell peppers, zucchinis, mushrooms, cabbage, or even tomatoes? Use whatever is in your fridge or pantry to stuff them, top with cheese and bake. This gives them a nice upgrade and expands their life so they don't rot! Examples for stuffings:
Pre-cooked: Quinoa, Rice. Chicken. Beef
Canned/jarred: Beans, Salsa, Corn, Peas

RESHAPE: Have too many potatoes or sweet potatoes? Cut them to fries or chips and voila- you have a fun and healthy way to snack them. This can also work with carrots!

BLEND: Throwing things into a blender is an adventure, but can definitely create new variations. Think hummus: Take a base and add different things that might compliment it. Banana nice-cream is a classic (with frozen banana and cacao powder), but also try any sort of beans and spices to create different dips or spreads.

REPURPOSE, aka throw some cheese on it: Tired of eating that same chicken over and over again? Cut it to small pieces and throw on some chips. salsa and cheese for homemade nachos. Think pizza. You can’t really go wrong here. Eating leftovers was never meant to be boring! *Vegan cheese totally works too.

HALF IT: Only have half of a cup left from a can, but the recipe calls for a whole cup? Don’t give up! Just cut the recipe in half. It’s still worth it!

**This post it dedicated to my old roommate Mary Starkey and to my cousin Naomi (who never liked eating leftovers… )

Things I've learned from my Autoimmune Protocol elimination diet

In June 2020 I felt stuck. Yes, we were all stuck at home during a crazy pandemic, but I felt especially stuck with my body that was struggling, once again, with ulcerative colitis. I just didn't know what to do anymore!
I was struggling for a long period of time with this inflammation that got worse since we learned about the pandemic. I was already watching what I ate carefully and kept a food & symptoms diary; but nothing helped my inflammation.

I was put on steroids, which helped, but I was afraid of the moment I would finish the dose. Will my body recover? Will the inflammation come back? Taking steroids felt terrible and I didn't want to continue them, but I also wanted the inflammation to finally be GONE.

This is when I found out about the Autoimmune Protocol diet through some Google searches. While I tried elimination diets in the past, I had never tried this specific one that is supposed to target autoimmune conditions. Here are a few of my thoughts about this elimination diet:

1. It seems like a very limited menu. IT IS! But it does get easier when you find your favorites and plan around them. I found most of the recipes online for free, and only purchased one cookbook to help with variety.

2. Get ready to experiment in the kitchen and expect to fail sometimes. Many of these recipes are not your regular go-to, and some use unique ingredients and cooking techniques. I had to find patience with myself and not get too angry if something didn't turn out well, or didn't sit well with me. For example, gelatin eggs are recommended in many recipes but I just couldn't stand it... I had to let it go, even after I spent $20 on a big container of it...

3. It's a high maintenance journey. I was working from home during my time on the AIP diet, and I don't know if I could have done it successfully if I had to leave my house for work every day. It takes lots of cooking and prep time! Also, at home there are less temptations or reminders of other foods. I think finding a timeframe that works for you with no big events in the future is the key to success of this program.

4. Focus on what you CAN eat. Fill your house with lots of AIP compliant foods and don't be hungry. While it might be a by-product of this diet, this system is not for weight-loss! I was eating whenever I was hungry, and always had snacks nearby.

5. Get your support system involved! I got my husband to try (and happily eat!) most of the foods I made. It's much easier if you have a buddy to go through the process with you.

6. Find shortcuts. There are ready-made foods and snacks in some grocery stores like Sprouts and WholeFoods! I lived on Rotisserie chicken and some paleo puffs during the whole diet. Learn to read labels and do the research at home, then find them at your grocery store to save some time in your kitchen. They do exist! (Like grain-free pasta, no tomato sauce, etc.)

7. Some of these special foods are very pricey. I wasn't even aware of cassava flour or coconut yogurt before, and they are NOT cheap. Also, counting on high quality protein and vegetables as your main nutrition really adds up. BUT it is worth it, especially if you know you won't be doing this restricting menu forever.

8. Simple, basic foods with 1-4 ingredients are the way to go, even in our post-AIP life. If you can eat basic foods that are not processed, that is the best possible thing you can do for your body. Replace snacks with raw fruit and veggies, and eat meals with products that only have a few ingredients. The key is in the preparation and quality of the produce!

9. Final conclusion? This diet helps you restart your body, and it gives your system the opportunity to heal. Before this experience I generally knew which foods did not make me feel well. As a result of this diet I didn't discover any new ones, but it reassured my suspicions. I do feel like this was a harsh but needed restart, while I cut out any foods that were possible offenders. As of when I am writing this, my inflammation did not come back yet. I'm still avoiding many foods, but at the same time, I experiment with consuming some of them in small doses or once in a while.

For my case, the AIP diet was totally worth it, and I hope my remission will last for a while!

When my obsession is productive (to you too!)

I was never a metronome kid.

I had one, but I didn’t even know where it was most of the time. It was dusty and sad. I knew I should use it, but until this day I can’t remember what my excuse was for neglecting it. Do I regret it? Probably. Do I try to use it more as an adult? I really do.

As an adult I also learned the beauty of EXCEL. This sleepy spreadsheet software can be so powerful and helpful. I took my knowledge of excel, and tried to use it to track my metronome goals. Yes, everything is a goal these days. The goal here was originally to make it more likely for me to turn my metronome on in the first place. But, what this experiment lead to was a new way of organizing my musical life, and I wanted to share it with you.

I created a spreadsheet with four tabs:

1. Repertoire. This tab is where I track my repertoire for the year. Working on 45-60 minutes of music for a recital can be overwhelming. It helped me decide things like when I record certain pieces, and when I switch over to full run-throughs. I wanted to keep it all in one place and have a written out plan.

2. Scales. Oh Carl Flesch, you created a wonderful scale book for violin, and I hope you would have loved this spreadsheet too. This tab has 7 columns (one for each day), with indications on what style to play the scales and at which metronome speed. I track my scale exercises progress on this tab, and can also note what I focus on every week.

3. Technique. This is probably my favorite tab. It all started when my teacher saw how frustrated I was with spiccato. He suggested that I do an experiment: learn how spiccato works, but from the beginning; AKA speed 50. Every day I increased by 10 clicks on the metronome and tracked it with this sheet. Slowly I built it up to the right speed (in my case, it was for Mendelssohn Scherzo), and it helped me gain great control of my right hand. I finally felt like I knew what’s happening and how it should feel. This sheet can be edited to all sorts of techniques… anything you want to take apart and get nerdy with.

4. Auditions timeline. This tab is pretty simple – it’s just a way for me to track progress in preparation for upcoming auditions. You can be as detailed as you want and plan every hour, or make more of a week to week timeline.

You can get this worksheet (even as a printable version) for FREE if you go here. Super easy. It will land in your inbox immediately! Happy practicing!

Beat the winter blues!

Did you change all your clocks yet or there’s still one that’s one hour ahead? Man, gaining this one hour of sleep doesn’t help with the one hour jetlag, and short days ahead.

How to prepare yourself for this winter times ahead? Here are a few ideas…
1. Keep active: plan activities especially after 5pm, when it gets super dark outside.
I always try to add more stops on my way back home, or make evening plans. Stop for groceries after work, schedule drinks/dinner with a friend, or try a new workout class. Because it gets dark at like 4:30pm, it feels like the day is over. It is NOT. Fool your brain and schedule evening rehearsals or plans that start at 5pm or 6pm.
2. Get outside: don’t be a caveman. Walk/run outside if not too cold. Maybe check out a new park or walk the long way home. It’s a good opportunity to get to know your city/town better, and try new restaurants and bars.
3. Keep warm: coffee and tea are great and tasty. Choose the herbal tea options in the late afternoon or evening. There are so many fun cozy drinks! Try Matcha, new teas, hot chocolate, or make your own hot cider!
4. Eat healthily: boost your mood with a colorful plate, loaded with fruit and veggies. We get most of our immune system powers from FOOD. There’s plenty of vitamin C in our foods (broccoli, cauliflower, kale, kiwi, orange juice, sweet potato, strawberries, tomatoes) so forget the supplements, and just eat better. Recipes are coming up!!
5. See the light: turn on ALL the lights and candles. You can also use scented candles or use Christmas lights for some mood lighting.
6. Get some vitamin D! If you live in north America, and most European countries, you ARE vitamin D deficient during the winter months. Differently than vitamin C, we cannot get enough vitamin D from our food so you should take supplements!
7. Take up a new hobby: it will keep you busy and distract you from the darkness. Knitting is super awesome because you can knit a scarf. Or mittens. You can also find a buddy and do this new hobby together. Personally, I like baking during the cold months because it keeps the house warm, smells amazing, and there are yummy things to eat.

Breaking the distance OR how to make long distance relationship work

Long distance relationships.
We can all agree that they suck and are not recommended. But, as musicians we travel a lot and sometimes cannot pass on opportunities that are far from our significant other. Sometimes we even meet amazing people at summer programs and know it will lead to long distance limbo. Is it worth it? That's a question I cannot help you with. But if you decided it is, here are a few tips from my good friend A who is a PRO with long distance relationships. She and her boyfriend have been together for 5 years and are still going strong!

1. Don’t get frustrated. It’s so easy to get frustrated and angry in a long distance relationship.It’s easy for things to get out of hand because of overthinking something small. Always take the time to talk everything out and get everything out there.

2. Be open and honest with each other. It’s easier in a long distance relationship to hide or forget to say something that could be considered really important to your significant other. Even if it’s a silly detail in the day, funny meme, something small that bothers you, or just showing what you ate for lunch. It shows that you’re always thinking of them, including them in your lives no matter the distance, and there is no “smoke screen” in between you.

3. Make routines such as talking every night before going to bed. It doesn’t matter if it’s for 2 hours or 10 minutes. The fact that we both make time for each other is important. Even though I know the basics of what J does during the day (he would give me updates like driving to this city, in rehearsal, hanging with someone), it's still nice to hear about their entire day. Even if it’s a day where he didn’t leave the apartment! It's still nice to just hear about everything. Plus it’s such a great way to think back on the day, unwind, and discuss each part of the day with him. Sometimes we go on tangents and it grows into something more, but it’s just our way of just sharing our day together.

4. Come up with fun traditions. We developed a tradition of buying each other cups or mugs. Having a shared interest or collection makes the gifting more fun. It definitely makes me think more about J when I travel. Also the little things you give each other go a long way. If they casually mention something and you get them something similar, it shows that you listened to them and were thinking of them. It’s the small gestures that go a long way in long distance relationships.

5. Have an understanding of each other’s lives. One problem I’ve ran into in the past about long distance was not answering my phone or answering texts/messages “in a timely manner”. It's a red flag when they become frustrated when I don't text back even after I told them “I’m in rehearsal” or “meeting with some friends”. Communication is important, but understanding that one person has a busy day and it doesn’t revolve around the other is also important. Plus, I’m the type of person that hates answering texts or calls when I’m hanging with people/company. The only time I answer is if it’s important (ie: my parents, emergency situations, etc) or letting people know where we are hanging – that sort of thing. Respecting each other’s private time/lives is very important.

6. Snail mail and hand written letters are the best. Sometimes having something small like that physically sent to or from you can mean so much more than what people think. It may be “old school” or “over-rated”, but handwritten letters out of the blue can make a huge difference. It shows that you’re thinking of them, or vice versa. Plus it’s fun to reread those letters :)

7. Plan ahead, even if it’s something small. It could be anything from planning to see each other in a city or just making a specific dish for them. It shows that not only are you thinking of them, but thinking of the future. Sometimes I would come across an article about restaurants in the area, and we will plan to go to a few next time we meet.

Why you should invest in your body NOW

I was raised with the idea that our body is like a car. It needs fuel to function and carry us far. Now, if you knew you have one car, for the rest of your life, wouldn't you give it the best fuel you can find? A car you love, trust, and more importantly NEED for the rest of your life...

(Warren Buffett said it best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1np5_t24okE)

I think it's time to reflect on what we fuel our body with. Is it really the best fuel we can find? When we talk about quality, do we bring goodness to our body with substantial nourishing ingredients?

Ok, so we are on the same page but you might wonder where to start…?!
Cut foods with no benefits such as: white flour, simple carbs, extra sugary things.

Rather than counting calories, try to give food a hierarchy based on other aspects. Rank foods higher when they are high in fiber or contain whole wheat grains for example. Something that is high in quality protein might have more calories but can be so much more beneficial for your body than something that has less calories and is more processed.

Other examples:
Lettuce is ranked high.
Bagels are ranked low.
Quinoa is ranked high.
Regular pasta is ranked low.

Why is pasta ranked low? It really doesn't offer our body much! It's mainly carbs, but simple carbs, without much nutritional value.
Replace simple things with more nourishing thing. Maybe it's not the fastest and cheapest option, but, it's probably the best investment you can make for your body, and will probably cost you less in the long run. Think about all the medical bills you might have to pay when you are older if you don't eat healthy now!

I want to emphasize that balance is always important to keep in mind. I don't expect anyone to stop eating pasta for the rest of their life! I just want to bring better awareness to the things we put in our body. Be realistic – if you eat regular pasta once a week, try every other week or try switching it to whole wheat pasta, etc. Most importantly, consume less processed stuff and more fresh, high-quality foods.

P.S.- I don't mean to pick on pasta so much! It's just an easy target...

What do you actually need?

We live in a consumerist world. We think the more we have, the better we are. Ads everywhere tell us that we will do so much better if we buy their product. Add *this* to our routine, use this spice, start a journal, drink this tea, buy this bag that will CHANGE OUR LIFE.

But let's be real for a moment. Will it?
Moving and living out of a suitcase for 3 months got me thinking: What do I actually need? What are the basic things I need to not only survive, but be happy?

Sometimes we lose the simple sense of simply living. While we all have our priorities and things that bring us joy, we can easily get lost in the variety! We can’t even find the things that bring us joy and get confused with things that bring others joy. We get this idea that we can bring more joy to our life with more stuff.

That is why I think packing is a healthy process. It makes you choose your essentials! Even when it comes to hygiene, we use so many unnecessary products (and plastic, which I will save for a different post). Do they really make a difference in our life?

Living for three months out of a suitcase was challenging, but it was mainly challenging because of the drastic change of weather during those months and the limited clothes selection. Everything else is really adjustable. I found a way to be comfortable even without all of my possessions that were packed away. Now that I have them all back, I am starting to realize that I can be happy with less, if not even happier.

This summer I challenge you to question some of your stuff and ask “what do I actually NEED?”
At the end of the day, even if you don’t feel you can survive with less, you will at least appreciate your stuff even more.